empatheticpoetess

Poetry, Short Stories, Me unfiltered

Dying Heart

Dying Heart

I think it’s worse to have many friends u know that care
But who are always never there when need them there
When u need someone to just be there and sit
But u know no matter who u call there’s always some trick
U think and wonder can u call ur sis?
But u know she’s consumed with her own life’s bliss
No escape from reality, no moment of truth
So ur mind is confused with darkness and moods
U sit and all u can do is cry in the dark
And know people will say why didn’t u call?
But u know when u did or when u do
There’s always a reason, no answer, or some excuse
The times u reached out, u were knocked out cold
And then u hear words ringing out so broad and bold
But when u reach out and it’s always hard
They make u feel like a fucking retard

I’m glad I’ll never be that kind of friend
I’m glad that I always make time in the end
It’s just really hard at times like these
That I need someone to loan me their strength and see
That although I always put on a great show
With courage and strength at times I’m cold
I’ve reached out to a few in the past two weeks
To be let down hard and left on my knees
And most always wonder why I keep to myself
It’s the one person I know won’t let me go to hell
Even when I let down my guard u see
It’s always something I’ve done wrong times three
Today was the day I died inside
And I don’t know if I’ll recover this time or die
Every hurt leaves me colder u see
And I’m afraid that my heart is shutting down times three

It’s nothing major to u but it is to me
I took some time out on my own u see
But it doesn’t matter what I say it’s always my fault
It’s how I lived the past or how I was taught
I can’t be myself and expect the best
So I paint on my face and press play to exist
Not sure what’s wrong with my real face u see
But it doesn’t keep others around for me
So I’ll be that light when u call out in the dark
I’ll be that friend that u need when something starts
But know when I need that I’m all alone
And I just won’t pick up and say that I’m alone

Copyright NLSmith 2015

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This entry was posted on May 29, 2015 by in Ideology.
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